Can men and women be friends?

Our cultures and religion are obsessed with the prospect and possibility of us finding a partner and escaping the lonely purgatory of singledom. Once we have found our partners which we then decide to take as our life partners, we are often expected to cut ties with members of the opposite sex that are present in our lives to prove how committed we are.  Question is, is it a wise decision to make?

I recently asked a question on Facebook regarding male and female friendships. Whether being friends with a member of the opposite sex while married or in a committed relationship was wise. Most people’s response to the topic was that it depends on your partner and what type of friendship you may have, whether it is a lifelong friendship or a recent one. Some think that friendships formed prior to your relationship are no harm. Some believe that it is not possible or a good idea as there is always ulterior motives from one side.

The key according to one Facebook follower, is transparency, which frankly I agree with. When forming a friendship with a member of the opposite sex you should be clear from the beginning that it is clearly a friendship so that there are no misunderstood signs or a one way attraction mistaken as mutual.  When you enter into a relationship they should also be aware that you are now in a relationship so that there is are boundaries formed from that point.

In the 1989 film When Harry met Sally; the film is about love, friendship and whether men and women can be friends. In the film, Harry who is played by Billy Crystal points out that no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive, he will always want more than friendship.  He also later points out in the film that if both parties are in a relationship, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. One can sit and wonder whether that statement is true or not or whether it depends on how much time you spend together or if you all get together as couples.

There is no clear cut answer to this topic, but from what we have gathered it is clear that if your friends do not respect your relationship and your partner it either the friendship or the relationship won’t work. Relationships are also about trusting your partner and also respecting the trust instilled you to the effect that when you do realize you are attracted to a friend, you decide what it is exactly you want. When things are clear from the beginning as one of our followers pointed out, there is less risk in encountering problems during the course of your friendship. It is also impossible to let go of all of your opposite sex friends, as sometimes this may be possessiveness creeping into our relationships and we are not aware. I stand firm with my statement that I refuse to let go of some old friends as they will be the ones picking up the pieces and reminding me there are still good members of the opposite sex around, should things turn sour. As for making new male friends am not really interested would drop all of them for my partner.

At the end of the day it all depends on what you want from the friendship and your relationship.

Choosing and wearing the correct shade of foundation.

 

                                                              

Most women want to know how to use foundation without it looking like they are wearing a mask or dipped their faces in peanut butter. Some women have difficulties choosing and applying foundation correctly, choosing foundation isn’t difficult but is time consuming, particularly for women of colour. There are oh so many shades to choose from, choosing the wrong colour may have you looking like a wax figure or your face looking entirely different shade then your neck. So ladies let’s not give people a reason to want to attack us with a wet face cloth en ask us to start all over again or even have an SMH moment when you walk by.

Rule number one to choosing foundation: never ever use it to change the colour of your face, your hands and neck will definitely give it away. The whole point of foundation is to blend in with your natural tone making your skin appear almost flawless yet natural. If you start with the right base it will make the rest of your makeup look so much better. Using a good foundation can offer good coverage, moisturisation and even offer sunscreen protection.

When testing a foundation always check the match in natural light. You can either apply it on the side of your face or on the inner side of your wrist, as the skin there often matches your facial tone. It is also good that when choosing foundation you make sure that it is good for your skin and meets your skin requirements.

Powder or cream-to-powder foundations are more suited for normal to oily skin types. Liquid foundations are good for all skin types, if you have oily skin it is advisable to look for oil free liquids and those with dry skin should look for moisturising liquids.

                              

The best way to find the correct tone of foundation is to go to the store and have one of the consultants assist you, Edgars is a perfect example of where you can find consultants that will spend time in helping you find the right shade and even assist you on how to apply it. It is quite difficult to find the correct shade with women of colour as there is a wide range of undertones in black skin.

For your make up to go on evenly, you need to remove dead skin cells once or twice a week, and also use a moisturiser before applying foundation to keep your skin hydrated and also allows the foundation to go on more evenly and last longer by creating a smooth base for the pigment to adhere to.

You may wonder which is better to use when applying foundation?  Your fingers, a sponge or a brush?

According to O magazine O make up bag, using your fingers to apply liquid and cream foundation, because the heat generated helps to warm up the pigmentation, making it easier to blend.

When using a sponge if you want a sheer look; it absorbs a lot of foundation, taking down its intensity. Lightly press it into the skin in a blotting motion because sweeping the sponge across your face will create streaks.

A brush can be used to deposit the pigment most evenly. For liquid foundation, choose a tapered synthetic brush one like the one demonstrated below. The tapered tip allows you to get into the areas around your nose and under your eyes, and the synthetic bristles don’t absorb to much foundation. Tap the end of the brush into the foundation and "paint" it across your forehead, down your nose, across your cheekbones, and on your chin. In sweeping motions, blend the pigment into the skin until it's invisible.

Now that you have the know how please ladies the people at the makeup counters are there to help you! Happy shopping for your foundation.