Autumn/Winter looks

Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Hudson wearing fawn leather dress.  Leather dresses and skirts are back in fashion, and are a chic option for everyone and every occasion, making it a hot ticket item for autumn. This fawn patent leather dress is sleeveless; bra-friendly and gives great shoulder coverage. It can be paired with ankle boots just as Jlo paired it, closed or peep toe shoes.

This skirt can be paired with a button up shirt or chiffon blouse for a more classy look, for a more stylish and fashionable look you can pair it up with a boyfriend blazer, a simple top or vest.

Jennifer Hudson once again shows off the leather look, she wears the leather pencil skirt with a black vest /tank top as a third look in her music video “Think like a man”

The leather look is timeless and looks good on anybody, by anybody I mean anybody from  a 20 year old to a 60 year old. Anyone can rock this look, a biker babe, vixens, corporate to an everyday look, you can dress it up or down, making it a must have for autumn and winter. The look can be accessorized with a few chunky bracelets/bangles for a more funky look and for a more bedazzled look you can try a bib necklace, one like the one Jennifer has on.

However be aware that while nothing is wrong with showing off some legs out for a night, leather can make one look a bit on the trashy side if not worn properly and worn properly you can look classy.

A big no-no is pairing the leather skirt or dress with a leather jacket, that is a bit of an overkill on the animal theme but it does however look good with animal print tops.

 

The case of the Mistress

Sometimes as women we get ourselves in sticky situations, sometimes driven by loneliness, the need to fill a void and at times the need to explore. This however doesn’t happen only with women but with men as well. People stray for many reasons; tainted love, revenge, unfulfilled longings, plain old lust, a rebellion against plain old matrimony or even a quest for intensity.

Often in relationships the shadow of the third creeps in, whether we like it or not. This shadow lurks around the corner and presents itself as a threat within our homes. This shadow can be physical or imaginary. As Esther Perel puts it in one of her books “The third is the manifestation of our desire for what lies outside the fence. It is the forbidden.” Perhaps that is why such a few affairs last after the marriage that inspired them dissolves.

Esther goes on to explain in her book that, Perfect love is sufficient unto itself. So fragile is this fusion that the presence of another, even in fantasy is powerful enough to shatter it. 

The shadow of the third can be in a form of an actual affair or just a fantasy. A fantasy can be as shattering and devastating as an affair. This was illustrated perfectly in the movie Eyes Wide Shut, with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. In the movie when Bill and Alice returned home from a Christmas party that had sparked a conversation about sex. Bill had assumed that Alice is incapable of infidelity, Bill was so sure of his assumptions. Alice then decided to enlighten him and described in agonizing detail just how powerful the power of the other can be even if it’s nothing more than a mirage. Alice described to Bill a fantasy she had with a naval officer she desired from a distance, they never met, they never even exchanged words but his instant hold on her was strong.

Bill was devastated by his wife’s revelation and spends the rest of the movie trying to avenge the betrayal and restore order to his broken world. This is a clear indication of how a fantasy could generate the same sense of violation as an actual affair.

In some relationships a partner’s security rests not only on what the other partner does but also on what they think. 

A recent radio interview hosted by Chriselda with Penny Lebyane, Nonkukuleko Ndlovu and Kedibone revealed just how far certain affairs could go. Some affairs could go as far as when the partner is away with his wife and kids, the mistress would be on the 6^th floor while the family is on the 8^th floor. Chriselda went on to discuss the burden it also has on the mistress as they sometimes have the hope that their partner will leave their wife one day.

She went on to give tips on how to be a good mistress, such as availing yourself every ­­­­­­­­­­­time your partner wants to meet. Be prepared to be disappointed as you won’t be spending as much time as you wish. 

In a nutshell being  a mistress or having  a threat of the shadow of the third, it could either be disastrous or like as Alain de Botton said Infidelity, not the act itself, but the threat of it can be capable of rescuing a relationship ruined by habit.